Shiva Shares Her Satanic Wedding Ceremony
Introduction
As a ritual leader and Priestess, one of the most common questions I’m asked is if I can share a Satanic wedding ceremony. I’ve presided over a number of weddings over the years (and had my own Satanic wedding ceremony), and wanted to share a script that I’ve created to accompany your special day. Before I created this script, I searched far and wide for templates and examples within the Satanic community but couldn’t find much. I’m hoping that this script will fill that void and inspire you to make this ceremony your own.
This wedding ceremony can be used as is, or adapted to fit your needs. It is a simple ceremony, but my goal was for it to be accessible and adaptable. Our values as Satanists can diverge significantly from the traditions that typically surround us, so I created this ceremony to invoke a bit of the mythology and symbolism of our religion, and created the text to emphasize free will and respect, and show liberation through union. I wanted it to fit the needs of our diverse community and provide inspiration for those who wanted to create their own original work. I always say that the most important aspect of a ritual is that it resonates with your aesthetic, values, and vision. So please, feel free to share, remix, and customize so that it reflects you.
If you’re interested in delving deeper into ritual you can check out the resources from my site and check out my book The Devil’s Tome (winner of The Satanic Temple’s Anatole France Award for Contemporary Satanic Literature!). You can also find ceremonial supplies in my shop. In 2022 I will begin offering custom wedding ritual products, ceremony creation, and serve as a wedding officiant. You can learn more about these services here. You can also check out Satanic Ministry to find local ordained Ministers to work with.
As always, I hope my work can serve you,
Shiva
Satanic Wedding Ceremony Script
Roles:
Satanic Minister
A + B - those that will be wed (can be expanded to C, D, etc)
Flame Bearers - special designation for two people carrying lit candles to the altar
Wedding Party
Tools:
Your personal wedding altar
3 candles
Rings
Procession:
Satanic altar is at the front of the room. It contains a large candle at the center.
The wedding party proceeds to the altar. Two Flame Bearers each carry a lit candle. They move to either side of the altar.
The couple then joins the wedding party at the center of the altar, each with a Flame Bearer next to them.
Satanic Minister: We’ve gathered here today in this sacred space to join A and B in infernal matrimony. By your presence, you celebrate with them the love they have discovered in each other and you support their commitment to each other.
(Flame Bearer passes the candle to A and B)
Satanic Minister: Each of you were born with a light.
This light represents your vitality, your passion for life, journey to wisdom, and your commitment to justice. Tonight, your two flames become one.
Look into your partners’ eyes. Recall the joys and sorrows you have celebrated and endured together. Take note of the support you are feeling now. Know that this support will exist for you always.
Satanic Minister turns to A
A, do you pledge to honor B for who they are? A answers
Do you vow to support them through battles and beauty? A answers
Will you tend to their needs as well as your own? A answers
Will you hail your partner and yourself? A answers
Ringer bearer gives A the ring. A places ring on B’s finger.
Satanic Minister turns to B
Satanic Minister: B, do you pledge to honor A for who they are? B answers
Do you vow to support them through battles and beauty? B answers
Will you tend to their needs as well as your own? B answers
Will you hail your partner and yourself? B answers
Ringer bearer gives B the ring. B places ring on A’s finger.
Satanic Minister: As the flames entwine, so do your paths in life. May your love burn bright. May this light burn eternal
A and B like the large candle on the altar together and kiss.
Satanic Minister: Ave Satanas!
Crowd: Ave Satanas!
Finding Liberation Through Unbaptism
Many of us carry wounds from religion or ideologies that were thrust upon us over our youth. For many years, they may go unobserved and untended, and continue to fester as the years pass.
Becoming conscious of these wounds has been an important part of my Satanic journey. Looking back on my religious upbringing since becoming a Satanist has truly been a revelation; it’s helped me identify where unhealthy views about myself came from; dissect assumptions I carried about myself and the world at large; and accept and love myself in a way that was never possible before.
Cleansing/destruction rituals have played an important part in this work. In 2019, I had the honor of publicly unbaptizing members of our community at TST Headquarters in Salem in what became the most powerful rituals I had ever witnessed. Now, as much as I’d like to conduct these services in person as a Priestess/Minister of TST, COVID has me on the sidelines until it’s safer to join together once again.
Luckily, these rituals are flexible. Last year I created an Unbaptism ritual that you can do at home where you can unbaptize yourself. This year, I’ve created an Unbaptism ritual that I guide you through if that method works better for you. Check out this page to participate in a guided Unbaptism that I lead - you can do the work at your own pace in a safe place. After completing the ritual, you can submit your info to receive an Unbaptism certificate that you can personalize and another small gift from me.
Hoping my work can serve you,
Shiva
Approaching Forgiveness As A Satanist
Happy Monday!
I hope your week is going well. Starting in August, I'll be doing a monthly card pull from The Devil's Deck to share with the community in hopes it'll provide inspiration and insight. Each month I'll release special merchandise based on the chosen card and share additional insights on the topic.
This month's card is Forgiveness - illustration by Lucien Greaves
Satanic Insight: Forgiveness can be a tool for healing, but can also be an opportunity for re-victimization. Don’t feel obligated to forgive and forget or let those who hurt you back into your life. Mercy is earned. It’s rare to obtain closure from those who have hurt us. Take wisdom where you can and move on as necessary. Too often we betray ourselves in service of other people. One of the most powerful ways to find absolution is to forgive ourselves. How has forgiveness served you? In what ways can you forgive yourself?
I've been thinking on this one a lot in the last year, especially as I contemplated death/dying and engaged with my death doula work. Forgiveness is touted as necessary for moving on or healing, but is it? I don't think so. Sure, many of the major religions extol its virtues. But is that just another tactic used so that we will be subservient and accept systemic abuse without pushing back? As a Satanist, this doesn't sit well with me.
I haven't come to a place in my life where I can forgive and forget the more traumatic experiences and abusive people I have had in my life. For me, right or wrong, forgiveness is linked to being permissive. To accepting that behavior. And that's a no for me.
The more interesting question for me right now is - how can I forgive myself? How do my inner voices reflect those of my abusers, still? How can I move away from thinking that I'm inherently 'wrong' or 'flawed?' How can I work through shame? To me, this is a path to personal freedom and empowerment.
Satanic Self-Care: Ritual as a tool for inner revolution in the New Year
Resurget Cineribus Ritual at Devil’s Renaissance, Detroit 12/29/2019. Photo by Friends of TST Detroit
The New Year is a great symbolic marker for fresh starts and change and a fantastic time to reflect and focus your energy on ridding yourself of negative habits and people, while creating a vision for what you want. Over the last 7 years I’ve consciously used ritual to facilitate my own personal healing, empowerment, and manifestation work. I’ve found the practice to be incredibly helpful in my life — in fact, one of the reasons I started Serpentīnae was to be able to share some of my personal tools and practices with the general public. The New Year is a symbolic and powerful time to practice ritual. And ritual — science is confirming — can help us process, heal, and accomplish goals.
What is a Ritual?
Although widely used and valued by the theistic religious community, ritual is often relegated to the world of ‘woo’ in non-religious and secular communities. Interestingly, there’s a growing body of academic work that explores the power of ritual in psychological and emotional well-being that points to its efficacy regardless of religion or lack thereof. The literature points to a number of benefits of ritual including strengthening social connections, reducing grief, reducing performance-related anxiety, and re-establishing a sense of control to those who perform.
I think much of the misconception about ritual stems from its definition. For the purposes of this article I look to Norton and Gino, some of the foremost modern scholars on ritual, who define the practice as ‘a symbolic activity that is performed before, during, or after a meaningful event in order to achieve some desired outcome’. Contrary to popular belief, there doesn’t have to be an associate with a deity or religion — ritual is just a mindful, symbolic activity performed to create a particular result. Examples include religious rites like prayer and baptisms, but can also include secular rituals like commitment ceremonies, manifestation work like vision boarding, performance rituals like athletes wearing a particular charm or piece of clothing before a game, meditation and affirmation practice.
Ritual can help us process grief
Throughout the ages, humans have used ritual to cope with grief. Funeral practices, for instance, are a ubiquitous phenomenon that range from a jazz procession in New Orleans to sky burials in Yazd. Whether it’s mourning the loss of a lover, a job, or a home, people develop personal an unending assortment of rituals to cope with grief and process the complex feelings that accompany it.
In 2013, Norton and Gino conducted three experiments to explore the impact of mourning rituals — after losses of loved ones, lovers, and lotteries — on mitigating grief. The authors found that participants who were directed to think about past rituals or were told to complete rituals after experiencing losses reported lower levels of grief than those who did not.
Rituals can lower anxiety and help improve performance
Anxiety is a terrible beast that can stunt personal growth, create misery, and cripple performance. In 2015, Brooks et al investigated ritual’s effects on anxiety and performance by asking study participants in the experimental group to complete a ritual before singing publicly. They then measured self-reported emotional experience and singing quality (which was assessed by voice recognition software). Through the study, they found that having participants complete a ritual before an anxiety- inducing performance task reduced self-reported anxiety and improved subsequent singing performance. In 2017, Hobson et al expanded on this work, finding that ritual dulls neural response to performance failure and can then guide goal-directed performance.
Ritual can help us establish control
The underlying mechanism of ritual appears to be the establishment or restoration of feelings of control in those who practice. Norton and Gino discuss,
“Despite the variance in the form that rituals take, we propose that a common psychological mechanism underlies their effectiveness: a restoration of feelings of control that losses impair. Indeed, people who suffer losses often report feeling “out of control” (Low, 1994) and actively try to regain control when they feel it slipping away (Brehm, 1966); feeling in control in turn is associated with increased well-being, physical health, and coping ability (Glass & Singer, 1972; Klein, Fencil-Morse, & Seligman, 1976; Rodin & Langer, 1977). Some qualitative data offer initial evidence for the link between rituals and control; for example, the extent to which athletes and fisherman engage in rituals is related to the unpredictability of their jobs (Gmelch, 1971; Malinowski & Redfield, 1948; see Whitson & Galinsky, 2008). We suggest that the use of rituals serves as a compensatory mechanism designed to restore feelings of control after losses, and that this increased feeling of control contributes to reduced grief.”
It’s this restored sense of control that ritual provides that makes the practice so powerful. In my own practice, I’ve found that this sense of control I gain through ritual coupled with the targeted time for reflection and action ritual provides to be incredibly empowering. What could be more liberating than a reminder that you are in control of your destiny?
Ritual as a Tool for Inner Revolution
As this year draws to a close, it’s the perfect opportunity to make time for ritual. Whether it’s a destruction or banishing ritual, a healing ritual, a rebirth ritual, a resolution or commitment ceremony, or a visioning or manifestation session, the time is ripe to set yourself in motion for the next year.