Approaching Forgiveness As A Satanist

Happy Monday!

I hope your week is going well. Starting in August, I'll be doing a monthly card pull from The Devil's Deck to share with the community in hopes it'll provide inspiration and insight. Each month I'll release special merchandise based on the chosen card and share additional insights on the topic.

This month's card is Forgiveness - illustration by Lucien Greaves

Satanic Insight: Forgiveness can be a tool for healing, but can also be an opportunity for re-victimization. Don’t feel obligated to forgive and forget or let those who hurt you back into your life. Mercy is earned. It’s rare to obtain closure from those who have hurt us. Take wisdom where you can and move on as necessary. Too often we betray ourselves in service of other people. One of the most powerful ways to find absolution is to forgive ourselves. How has forgiveness served you? In what ways can you forgive yourself?

I've been thinking on this one a lot in the last year, especially as I contemplated death/dying and engaged with my death doula work. Forgiveness is touted as necessary for moving on or healing, but is it? I don't think so. Sure, many of the major religions extol its virtues. But is that just another tactic used so that we will be subservient and accept systemic abuse without pushing back? As a Satanist, this doesn't sit well with me.

I haven't come to a place in my life where I can forgive and forget the more traumatic experiences and abusive people I have had in my life. For me, right or wrong, forgiveness is linked to being permissive. To accepting that behavior. And that's a no for me.

The more interesting question for me right now is - how can I forgive myself? How do my inner voices reflect those of my abusers, still? How can I move away from thinking that I'm inherently 'wrong' or 'flawed?' How can I work through shame? To me, this is a path to personal freedom and empowerment.