The Legacy of The Unveiling

The Unveiling is a very important part of our Satanic history. 

Detroit was home to  The Satanic Temple’s first chapter. We formed in the fall of 2014 and put together a number of headline grabbing events. In the spring of 2015, the Detroit chapter was tasked with putting together the Unveiling.

The event was a massive challenge. We had multiple venues cancel on us last minute; we were protested against by a number of local churches and we received death threats. 

So many people didn’t want to see the Unveiling happen. By our group of Satanic superheroes - the Detroit Chapter of TST, National, and our members made it happen. 

The event, to me, was a ritual in itself; it was It was our coming of age. It was our arrival - it was our way of saying we’re here, we exist, and we are here to celebrate this despite the fact you fear and hate us and despite threats of violence.

Ultimately, it was a massive success - at the time it was the largest public gathering of Satanists ever. People came from around the world to celebrate the Unveiling. And, at that event, arguably the most controversial piece of modern art, our Baphomet, was birthed into the world.

The Unveiling was a spark that ignited our global Satanic movement. After the Unveiling, new chapters began to form, the International Council was created, and our membership grew exponentially. For me, The Unveiling is a time to appreciate all we can accomplish, despite the challenges the world throws at us. It’s a time to appreciate our ability to thrive under pressure, find grace in conflict, and recognize our power.

See behind the scene photos + interviews about the Unveiling in via Shiva’s Patreon. Pick up ritual items to celebrate The Unveiling and hail yourself via the boutique

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Litha - A Summer Ritual

Shiva shares a Satanic Hexennacht ritual from her book The Devil’s Tome.

Illustration by Lex Corey

Illustration by Lex Corey

Introduction:

On the eve of the Summer Solstice, I wanted to share Litha, my summer ritual from The Devil’s Tome. In the midst of pandemic and revolution, I’ve found much solace in nature the last few months. Nature is constant; she persists. She brings healing, sustenance, and reckoning. I’ve found focus, understanding, reflection, and peace in her presence.

This ritual asks that you immerse yourself in nature, embrace gratitude and honor yourself, acts that can be uncomfortable especially now. I ask that you engage with an open mind and heart and see what comes.

If you need any ritual tools, Visit my shop.

Speramus Meliora,

Shiva

Litha

A Summer Ritual

Background: This is a summer ritual that is focused on creating space for gratitude and self-love while also appreciating nature.

Tools:
Blanket
Carrier oil
1 ounce bottle
Orange, cinnamon, gardenia essential oils or your favorite oils
Tome + pen
A bag/pouch

Sacred Space: A secluded outdoor area.

Preparation: Prior to the ritual, identify a private outdoor area where you’ll be able to spend an hour or two to complete the ritual. Go out into nature on a sunny day, preferably during the solstice.

Ritual: Walk to your secluded outdoor area. On the way, observe nature. Take note of the animals you pass, the noises you hear, the scents that surround you.

As you walk, pick up flowers and put them in your hair, tuck them behind your ears, on your clothes, or fashion them into a bracelet or headband. Pick up stones, bones, leaves, or other natural elements you’re attracted to and put them in your bag.

When you arrive at your secluded spot, create a circle with the items you collected on your walk. Place all of the other items you brought inside the circle.

Lay out your blanket and lay down to rest.

Feel the sun’s heat on your skin as you relax into nature.

When you feel moved, take out your tome. Record all of the things this year that you are grateful for and all that you’ve accomplished. As you write each item down, allow yourself to be filled with pride, happiness, and a sense of accomplishment.

Create your ritual oil: Combine 9/10ths of an ounce of carrier oil with 10-15 drops of the essential oils of your choice in your 1 ounce bottle.

Now, read each entry of gratitude. After each item, say “and, I deserve it” and shake your oil bottle.

Then, read each entry of accomplishment. After each item, say “and, I hail myself” and shake your oil bottle.

Anoint yourself with the oil.

In the following months, anytime you need extra confidence or a mood boost, re-read your tome entries and/or anoint yourself with the oil. Store the oil in a cool, dry place out of direct sunlight.

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The Wrath of the Dark Goddess in the Midst of Trump’s America

I published the article below back on Medium in November 2017 and thought it could use a revisit.

The Trump presidency has laid bare hundreds of years of terror within the United States. Between the myriad of disappointments and failures his regime has brought, he has fulfilled one promise of his presidency - to drain the swamp. Any illusions that kept folks from seeing the brutal mechanisms of control, oppression, and death that has been a hallmark of US history have been made visible.

Almost two years after this article was written, we’ve moved passed this Awakening.

The Goddess is screaming. Can you hear her?

We’ve seen the monsters. On occasion, we are the monsters. Now we are driven to act.

As I write this, we are 6 days in to nationwide protests triggered by the death of George Floyd, but built on the foundation of hundreds of years of racism, tyranny, and cruelty. It’s time for radical change.

Her Wrath brings destruction, but radical transformation as well.

‘That which will not bend must break, and that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise.’

How will you heed her call?

-Shiva

The Awakening of the Dark Goddess in the Midst of Trump’s America

Originally published on Medium in November 2017

Many of us experienced a range of emotions in the wake of last year’s election — disbelief, frustration, confusion, fear. I spent November 9th crying in the bathroom in between meetings at work and Google searching the cheapest route to become a permanent resident in some country with universal healthcare and a solid human rights record.

I was shook. Some were shocked. Many weren’t — marginalized communities knew the underbelly of America that many white liberals have up to that point ignored. They weren’t surprised that those folks, as well as your low key racist bosses, nationalistic uncles, and everyday white people, voted Trump in.

The months following Trump’s election has been predictably turbulent. Scandal. Jingoistic rhetoric. Toxic policy and legislation.

A year after his election, his reign has also brought an awakening. A rebellion.

Donald Trump is known for talking about how he’s going to ‘drain the swamp,’ and in a sideways way, I think he is actually doing it. For many of us, he’s the archetype for the bully, the abuser, the liar we have all endured through life. Seeing him in power is shaking things up and forcing us to confront past and present traumas. His presidency is revealing all the dirty secrets and abuses we felt forced to hide and is exposing the monsters lurking beneath the surface within our lives and our society.

As a country, we’re slowly peeling away the layers of structural oppression and violence that we’ve ignored or buried and exposing all of the hidden trauma to light.

There has been a massively significant shift in our cultural awareness as a society in the last few weeks with the explosion of #metoo and stream of public allegations of sexual misconduct against high profile men. For the first time, many women are sharing their stories and perpetrators are actually facing consequences as a result. This is monumental.

I think it’s no coincidence that this is happening in the midst of Trump’s presidency. Seeing Trump, a sexual predator and alleged rapist, democratically elected to the highest office of the United States re-traumatized many of us. And now, a year later, it has ignited a fire within us; an internal rage that is moved to speak truths, challenge power, and claim our space. It has weaponized us. It has awakened the Dark Goddess.

The Dark Goddess is an archetype that has existed for millenia. She is Kali on a rampage of destruction, reaping all in her path to bring about fertile beginnings. She is Oya commanding the storms of change. She is Innana stripping herself of her identity as she descends in to the underworld. She drags us from comfort. She exposes. She demands justice. She is rage. She is destruction. We need her more than ever.

For femmes raised on fairy tales who have absorbed the message that we must be nice, pretty, complicit, and quiet, these stories are particularly inspiring. They give us a model for transformative anger. They show us versions of feminine power. They remind us that destruction is necessary for creation. And they provide a radical notion of self-acceptance.

To all those who have been abused, marginalized, and silenced: it’s time for us to fully embrace our power. We have a lot of work to do, both within and without ourselves. In coming years we will be called to examine ourselves and society in a way that will be painful, confusing, exhausting, and, ultimately, empowering. As we engage in this process, I suggest we draw on the stories of the Dark Goddess to guide us.

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Hexennacht - A Ritual for Renewal + Healing

Shiva shares a Satanic Hexennacht ritual from her book The Devil’s Tome.

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Introduction:

In the Northern Hemisphere, we sit upon the break of spring. Spring - traditionally associated with rebirth, rejuvenation, and possibility - arrives in 2020 during a particularly barren and dark time for many of us. Crisis makes it hard to imagine a future. Fear keeps us from seeing opportunity. It’s hard to pull ourselves out of the grief we’re experiencing to see anything more than what’s immediately in front of us.

Yet optimism - the ability to picture a better future even in the midst of trauma - is what pulls us through difficult times. This Hexennacht, I challenge you to reacquaint yourself with hope. Rekindle your romance with desire. Imagine a better world.

I bring you my Hexennacht ritual - an excerpt from my book The Devil’s Tome. This particular ritual is a take off of the Hexennacht group ritual I performed at The Satanic Temple Headquarters in 2019. Feel free to mold it to your needs and adapt as you like. Visit my shop for Hexnnacht candles, incense and custom ritual kits.

I’ll be posting more thoughts on Hexennacht and as well unreleased content from my 2019 Hexennacht ritual on my Patreon.

Speramus Meliora,

Shiva

Hexennacht

A Spring Ritual

Background: I like to create seasonal rituals that engage the natural world. Over the last few years, I’ve brought planting rituals into my practice. I think they are the perfect way to set intentions in the springtime.

This particular ritual is a take off of the Hexennacht group ritual I performed at The Satanic Temple Headquarters. Feel free to mold it to your needs.

Tools:

  • Soil

  • Seeds

  • Planting pot/land

  • Biodegradable/seeded paper

  • Music Player

  • Lighter/Matches

  • Pen

  • Tome

  • Water


Sacred Space: A spot outdoors where you can plant your seeds or, if using a planting pot, simply be immersed in nature.

Preparation: Create a comfy, reflective space to engage in the ritual. The space can be indoors or outdoors, but should be a spot where you are alone and free of distractions. Prepare these spaces for the ritual by laying out anything you may need ahead of time so that you can move from space to space without worry or hesitation - this could include a music player, pillows, wine, water, a trowel, candles, altars, etc. Create a space where you feel inspired, relaxed, and powerful.

Create a music playlist that is 30 minutes to an hour long. Include songs that make you feel hopeful, inspired, and in charge. Have the first track be the song that brings out those feelings the most.

Ritual: Sit in your reflective space and start your playlist. While listening to the first track, take 10 deep breaths - breathe in for 10 seconds and then out for 10 seconds. Become aware of your body. Feel your breath reflected in the music. Feel yourself relaxing. Deeper and deeper, relax.



Once you complete the series of breaths, light your candle. Focus on the flame. Let yourself melt into the sounds and enjoy the music.
 Once the track has ended, recite over the flame three times:

“I awaken to Spring, my will and desire,
I awaken my power, through the fire.”

As you listen to the next track, close your eyes, get in a comfortable position, and begin to fantasize about what you would like to have happen over the next year. Let your imagination run wild. As you go through this process, really try to imagine the details of your desires. Focus on being in that moment through your visualization. Imagine sounds, smells, tastes, and touches.

Do this for the duration of at least one song. If you feel moved, continue visualizing for several tracks. After your visualization session, take strips of paper and write down your desires. They can be as general or specific as you like.

Record your desires in your tome. Under each of these goals, write down ways you can help bring your vision into reality.

Use your trowel to loosen the earth and plant your seeds under a thin layer of soil in either a pot or a sunny spot in the garden. Bury each strip of paper to accompany your seeds. As you put the seeds in the dirt, imagine each individual intention being planted in the earth. Imagine its roots extending and see its eventual blooming. Visualize your desires becoming reality. Once all are planted say,

“I stand here, filled with my desires, planting seeds of will. May my power grow. My desires blossom.”

Once you are finished planting, blow out your candle.


Check on your seeds on a regular basis and refer to your tome to check in on progress.

Additional Resources

If you’re having a rough time and need professional support, please also consider these resources:

  • Crisis Text Line - 24/7 text line where every texter is connected with a Crisis Counselor, a real-life human being trained to bring texters from a hot moment to a cool calm through active listening and collaborative problem solving

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255). The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.Vets can press "1" to be connected to VA specialists for resources

  • Trans Lifeline’s Hotline - Trans Lifeline’s Hotline is a peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers

  • The Trevor Project - A free, confidential service that provides live help to LGBTQ youth 24/7 via hotline, chat and text service

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Satanic Self-Care: Coronavirus Edition

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Coronavirus (SARS-COV-2, COVID-19)  is spreading quickly across the globe and impacting our daily lives. How do we manage this ever-changing environment? How do our Satanic values emerge under these conditions? How can we take care of ourselves and community? Before I became a full-time artist, I worked in public health and epidemiology. I’ve been listening to the experts and put together some initial thoughts on how we confront this phenomenon and ways to put our Satanic values in action.

Trust the science

For Satanists, science is the final word. It holds our greatest understanding of what’s happening around us and teaches us how to best navigate this pandemic and care for ourselves. It can also help us manage anxiety and avoid unnecessary panic and help us prepare appropriately. With that in mind, don’t copy and re-post unreferenced coronavirus tips from social media. There is a ton of potentially dangerous misinformation about the coronavirus spreading across social media, so make sure you verify your sources of information before you absorb or repost. Here are some tips from Harvard on how to spot fake news. 

It’s important to remember that the science behind understanding the virus is very new and there is a tremendous amount we don’t understand. Many of the studies emerging are promising but haven’t had time to undergo the usual validation process, so take everything with a grain of salt. Here are some tried and true resources recommended by trusted epidemiologists:

Minimize risk to yourself and community

It’s time to bring your compassion to the forefront! First of all, if you think you’re sick and your symptoms match those of the virus, get tested and seek care. Many health systems are offering phone lines and tele-visits to advise patients on their risk and avoid overloading the system, so utilize those resources if you can. 

Everything we know about this virus suggests that infection spreads exponentially until we are able to contain it. This virus has a higher mortality rate than the average flu and is extremely communicable. How do we contain the virus? Through social distancing - meaning we need to try to keep people (even those who aren’t sick or are asymptomatic) home as much as possible, for as long as possible until this recedes. How can you put this into practice? Check out this article for an overview. In brief - obey regional directives to quarantine if you have them. If you don’t yet have them, stay at home as much as possible anyway. If you’re a business owner, entertainer, or community leader, move work and meetings online. Cancel or postpone shows and other gatherings until the virus is under control. It appears that many carriers are asymptomatic and some of the hardest hit are the elderly and those with preexisting health conditions - meaning someone with little or no symptoms could carry the virus to people who are high risk. These modifications can be difficult and inconveniencing, but think of them as religious sacrifices - ones that help to protect your community and yourself. 

Help those in need

Now is the time to take care of ourselves and our community. Reach out to your community if you have the resources and spoons to help those that need it. That could mean going on food runs for elderly neighbors, providing guidance and encouragement to a sick or worried friend, giving money to someone who lost work, or watching your neighbor’s kids when their schools are closed. If you have a local chapter, consider creating a mechanism for members to help each other. If you need help, ask! Know your needs and don’t be afraid to ask for assistance. Check out local and regional resources for assistance as well. As Trent Reznor famously crooned, ‘We’re in this together now!’ There are a myriad of ways to help locally and provide support to each other in our Satanic community. Keep your eyes and heart open and stay safe.

How are you putting your Satanic values in action during the pandemic?

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Satanic Self-Care: Ritual as a tool for inner revolution in the New Year

Resurget Cineribus Ritual at Devil’s Renaissance, Detroit 12/29/2019. Photo by Friends of TST Detroit

Resurget Cineribus Ritual at Devil’s Renaissance, Detroit 12/29/2019. Photo by Friends of TST Detroit

The New Year is a great symbolic marker for fresh starts and change and a fantastic time to reflect and focus your energy on ridding yourself of negative habits and people, while creating a vision for what you want. Over the last 7 years I’ve consciously used ritual to facilitate my own personal healing, empowerment, and manifestation work. I’ve found the practice to be incredibly helpful in my life — in fact, one of the reasons I started Serpentīnae was to be able to share some of my personal tools and practices with the general public. The New Year is a symbolic and powerful time to practice ritual. And ritual — science is confirming — can help us process, heal, and accomplish goals.

What is a Ritual?

Although widely used and valued by the theistic religious community, ritual is often relegated to the world of ‘woo’ in non-religious and secular communities. Interestingly, there’s a growing body of academic work that explores the power of ritual in psychological and emotional well-being that points to its efficacy regardless of religion or lack thereof. The literature points to a number of benefits of ritual including strengthening social connections, reducing grief, reducing performance-related anxiety, and re-establishing a sense of control to those who perform.

I think much of the misconception about ritual stems from its definition. For the purposes of this article I look to Norton and Gino, some of the foremost modern scholars on ritual, who define the practice as ‘a symbolic activity that is performed before, during, or after a meaningful event in order to achieve some desired outcome’. Contrary to popular belief, there doesn’t have to be an associate with a deity or religion — ritual is just a mindful, symbolic activity performed to create a particular result. Examples include religious rites like prayer and baptisms, but can also include secular rituals like commitment ceremonies, manifestation work like vision boarding, performance rituals like athletes wearing a particular charm or piece of clothing before a game, meditation and affirmation practice.

Ritual can help us process grief

Throughout the ages, humans have used ritual to cope with grief. Funeral practices, for instance, are a ubiquitous phenomenon that range from a jazz procession in New Orleans to sky burials in Yazd. Whether it’s mourning the loss of a lover, a job, or a home, people develop personal an unending assortment of rituals to cope with grief and process the complex feelings that accompany it.

In 2013, Norton and Gino conducted three experiments to explore the impact of mourning rituals — after losses of loved ones, lovers, and lotteries — on mitigating grief. The authors found that participants who were directed to think about past rituals or were told to complete rituals after experiencing losses reported lower levels of grief than those who did not.

Rituals can lower anxiety and help improve performance

Anxiety is a terrible beast that can stunt personal growth, create misery, and cripple performance. In 2015, Brooks et al investigated ritual’s effects on anxiety and performance by asking study participants in the experimental group to complete a ritual before singing publicly. They then measured self-reported emotional experience and singing quality (which was assessed by voice recognition software). Through the study, they found that having participants complete a ritual before an anxiety- inducing performance task reduced self-reported anxiety and improved subsequent singing performance. In 2017, Hobson et al expanded on this work, finding that ritual dulls neural response to performance failure and can then guide goal-directed performance.

Ritual can help us establish control

The underlying mechanism of ritual appears to be the establishment or restoration of feelings of control in those who practice. Norton and Gino discuss,

“Despite the variance in the form that rituals take, we propose that a common psychological mechanism underlies their effectiveness: a restoration of feelings of control that losses impair. Indeed, people who suffer losses often report feeling “out of control” (Low, 1994) and actively try to regain control when they feel it slipping away (Brehm, 1966); feeling in control in turn is associated with increased well-being, physical health, and coping ability (Glass & Singer, 1972; Klein, Fencil-Morse, & Seligman, 1976; Rodin & Langer, 1977). Some qualitative data offer initial evidence for the link between rituals and control; for example, the extent to which athletes and fisherman engage in rituals is related to the unpredictability of their jobs (Gmelch, 1971; Malinowski & Redfield, 1948; see Whitson & Galinsky, 2008). We suggest that the use of rituals serves as a compensatory mechanism designed to restore feelings of control after losses, and that this increased feeling of control contributes to reduced grief.”

It’s this restored sense of control that ritual provides that makes the practice so powerful. In my own practice, I’ve found that this sense of control I gain through ritual coupled with the targeted time for reflection and action ritual provides to be incredibly empowering. What could be more liberating than a reminder that you are in control of your destiny?

Ritual as a Tool for Inner Revolution

As this year draws to a close, it’s the perfect opportunity to make time for ritual. Whether it’s a destruction or banishing ritual, a healing ritual, a rebirth ritual, a resolution or commitment ceremony, or a visioning or manifestation session, the time is ripe to set yourself in motion for the next year.

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Satanic Self-Care: Winter Solstice Ritual

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There are many ways to celebrate the Winter Solstice, but as we Satanists enter the end of the decade, I’m using it as an opportunity to symbolically clear away the accumulated gunk that has built up over the years and create an opportunity for new beginnings.

As I discussed in Satanic Self-Care: Holiday Edition, the holidays can be an especially difficult time for Satanists. On our Satanic journey, many of us come to uncomfortable realizations about family, tradition, and personal relationships - realizations that tend to be magnified during holiday interactions. We often realize that we need to affirm our identities and make big changes — at times cutting off toxic relationships and ridding ourselves of limiting ideas.

I’ve used burning rituals to great effect over the years both in my personal life and for rituals I’ve created for TST Headquarters. I’ve created this ritual as a way to help provide an opportunity to identify those things we want to part with and create a space to heal. I hope this ritual helps you this winter! If you’re interested in learning more, get on the mailing list to find out about the next release of my book, The Devil’s Tome

īnflammō

A Winter Solstice Ritual

Tools: A fire bowl, strips of paper, pen, matches or a lighter, dead flowers, candle, music player

Sacred Space: A private dark room in your home

Preparation: Perform this ritual on the Winter Solstice (December 21) or before the years end. Prepare a playlist that puts you in the mood for the cleansing work ahead. Allow yourself at least an hour of time. If you’re working through deep and painful issues, identify a friend that you can check in with before and after the ritual to provide support and aftercare

Ritual: Begin your playlist

Create a circle of dead flowers and repeat ‘I cast a circle of protection where I sit in my power’ as you lay the circle

Put the fire bowl, candle, paper, pen, and lighter in the center of the circle

Step into the circle and sit

Take 3 deep breaths and allow yourself to sink in to your body. Relax. Become aware of the space you occupy

Light your candle as you say, ‘Through the darkness of winter, I commit to my illumination. I shed light on that which does not serve me and burn the bridges leading to nowhere’

Begin to think of people, ideas, beliefs, relationships, and thoughts you want to part with. As they arise, write each down on a separate strips of paper. As you write each down, allow yourself to feel any emotions that come up. Give yourself space and time to process those emotions. Understand you’re in a safe space. Cry, scream, grieve as necessary

After you write each strip, light it on fire saying, ‘I free myself through the flame.’ Imagine yourself separating from that person, need, or thought as the fire consumes it. Watch it burn to completion in the fire bowl

After you finish lighting all your strips of paper on fire, say ‘It is done. Non Serviam’

Collect the ash, dead flowers, and other remnants and dispose of them as you like

Additional Resources

If you’re having a rough time this holiday season and need professional support, please also consider these resources (special thanks to Kathleen Koski for encouraging me to write this ritual + the resources below):

  • Crisis Text Line - 24/7 text line where every texter is connected with a Crisis Counselor, a real-life human being trained to bring texters from a hot moment to a cool calm through active listening and collaborative problem solving

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255). The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.Vets can press "1" to be connected to VA specialists for resources

  • Trans Lifeline’s Hotline - Trans Lifeline’s Hotline is a peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers

  • The Trevor Project - A free, confidential service that provides live help to LGBTQ youth 24/7 via hotline, chat and text service

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Satanic Self-Care: Holiday Edition

Snaketivity - 2014 - The Satanic Temple Detroit

Snaketivity - 2014 - The Satanic Temple Detroit

Greetings! It’s Shiva here for your very first edition of Satanic Self-Care. What better way to start the series than by discussing ways to survive and thrive during the holiday season?

For many of us the holidays can be a painful time. Old wounds are re-opened as we’re often pressured to spend time with people who don’t respect us and confront uncomfortable truths about family, religion, and tradition. I became a Satanist in 2014 after having survived decades of abusive religious programming. That fall I joined The Satanic Temple Detroit and finally felt like I’d found a group of like-minded folks. Needless to say, my family was not encouraged by the infamy our group courted via the construction of the Snaketivity monument - a piece highlighting religious plurality which we displayed in Michigan’s state capitol that December. It was an exciting, painful, and eye-opening few months.

Since those early days I’ve had a lot of ups and downs, cut out family and friends from my life, and have ultimately grown to cultivate my own sacred relationships based on mutual love, acceptance, and respect. Holidays don’t hold the same destructive power they once did because of radical acts of self-care and preservation. Here are some pieces of wisdom to help you navigate the next few months

5 Satanic Power Moves to Help You Through The Holidays

1. Know Thyself - This sounds incredibly simple, but after years of cultural and religious programming can be extremely difficult to figure out. What are your values? What sparks joy? Do you want to attend holiday functions? Are you willing to get in to an argument with your Trump-supporting uncle? Eat dry turkey? Are you in the state of mind to handle family prying?

As a recovering people-pleaser, this was something that was really challenging for me (was? I should say is). Once I started to understand my own desire, to accept my power and make decisions based on my needs, I saw a radical transformation in my life for the better

"No is a necessary magic. No draws a circle around you with chalk and says 'I have given enough.'" ~McKayla Robbin

2. “No” Is A Necessary Magic - Don’t feel obligated to attend functions or participate in traditions that make you feel anxious, devalued, or uncomfortable. Say ‘No’ a lot. In fact, say it twice as much as you feel comfortable. Say ‘no’ to attending a party. Say ‘no’ to going to a church service. Say ‘no’ to talking about Satanism or your personal life if it makes you feel uncomfortable. It shows strength. It’s a great habit to start and one you’ll improve at the more you do it.

Feelings of guilt can definitely accompany this, but know that establishing boundaries doesn’t make you bad, weak, lazy, or disrespectful. It shows strength. It also has the added magical property of letting you know who is an asshole…

3. Let Them Go - Sure, setting boundaries may make some people upset, but folks that become upset at you for communicating your needs and honoring your own well-being, that is their problem and you are probably better off taking a break.

Becoming a Satanist is an excellent way to separate your thoughtful, understanding, and compassionate acquaintances from those that are abusive and intolerant. When I first became a Satanist it took a while for a number of folks I held dear to understand and accept my decision, but over time it sparked larger transformations in our relationships that evolved them for the better. On the other hand, there have been family members I thought I’d never cut off that went bananas when I became a Satanist. I created space with them initially on those grounds only to find there were mountains of historical abuse that I’d experienced that I’d ignored over the decades. It was an incredibly painful yet liberating realization. Cutting ties with them was one of the most freeing things I’ve done in my life.

4. You Don’t Have To Fight - If folks give you a hard time for asserting boundaries and renegotiating relationships, it’s OK to back away. Similarly, you don’t have to feel a need to defend positions, argue, or explain yourself to every bigoted acquaintance at the dinner table. Contrary to popular belief, very few minds are changed via shouting matches over pie and coffee. Engage friends and family if you have the energy, but don’t feel obligated.

If you are entering a contentious situation, buddy up at the event with a like-minded friend or family member to back you up. You can also prepare by having a friend you can text if things get difficult who can then call you with an "emergency" to help you exit the situation

5. You’re Not Alone - If you’re feeling overwhelmed during the holiday season, try to make time to hang out with other like-minded friends, give yourself ample time to recharge, and spend time doing activities that make you happy. If you know you’re entering volatile territory, see if you can check in and vent to to someone close. Partake in activities that make you feel valuable and support your self-esteem. If you’re feeling frustrated, sad, or angry, create a cleansing ritual ritual around the holidays to help work through those feelings and affirm yourself. Create new traditions with your Satanic family or others who love and respect you. Let the holidays be sacred periods of growth and self-discovery that empower you on your journey.

If you’re having a rough time this holiday season and need professional support, please also consider these resources (special thanks to Kathleen Koski for the resources below, for providing a second set of eyes on the article, and sharing additions based on her experience as a crisis worker):

  • Crisis Text Line - 24/7 text line where every texter is connected with a Crisis Counselor, a real-life human being trained to bring texters from a hot moment to a cool calm through active listening and collaborative problem solving

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255). The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.Vets can press "1" to be connected to VA specialists for resources

  • Trans Lifeline’s Hotline - Trans Lifeline’s Hotline is a peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers

  • The Trevor Project - A free, confidential service that provides live help to LGBTQ youth 24/7 via hotline, chat and text service

How do you handle the holidays as a Satanist? Any tips you’ve learned? Share below in the comments

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