Familiar Farewell: A Pet Memorial Ceremony
For many Satanists, our familiars are family. They share in our joy, comfort us without words, and are companions on our journey. Losing a familiar, like losing any other family member, can be a devastating blow. When I first started sharing my rituals, a number of people asked if I had any recommendations for pet funerals or memorials. While you can adapt any of the existing mourning rituals to focus on the loss of a pet, I decided to create a special ceremony to memorialize our departed familiars. You can perform this ritual alone or with others who loved your familiar.
This ritual is an excerpt from my book, The Devil’s Death: Your Satanic Companion for Grief and Dying
TOOLS:
Your familiar’s toys and cherished objects
Book of Death and Discovery
Photos of your familiar
Familiar Farewell incense or candles
A music player and playlist
SACRED SPACE: Your Altar in Memoriam
PREPARATION: Create a playlist that will facilitate your grieving process and place your candles, incense, and Book of Death and Discovery at the space
you plan to create your altar.
RITUAL: As you begin the ritual, gather next to your soon-to-be altar. Say “I love and honor (insert your pet’s name) and today you are with me once again.”
Start your playlist.
Visit your familiar’s favorite places—this could be spaces within your home, places around your neighborhood, or favorite spots that are further away. As you revisit these places, fill your mind with memories of your familiar. Imagine them as they were and the good times you shared together. Allow emotions to rise and give yourself space to express them. As you are on this journey, collect items that remind you of them. This could be their trinkets or toys, favorite treats, their cherished objects, or items in nature that hold their memory. Let this process take as long as you need.
When you have finished your journey, bring the items you collected to your Altar in Memoriam and light your Familiar Farewell candles/incense. Say, “I love and honor (insert your pet’s name), and today I build a monument to your memory.”
Arrange your photos, trinkets, and the cherished objects you collected on your altar. Once you have finished arranging your altar, record memories of your departed companion in your Book of Death and Discovery, including those that rose on your journey today. Once you are finished, observe your altar once more, experiencing all the memories and emotions that rise within you.
When you are ready, say,
“I love and honor (insert your pet’s name), and you are with me always.”
Extinguish your incense/candle.
……….
Want to support the work? Check out my shop to pick up The Devil’s Death and handmade ritual tools. You can also join my Patreon to get additional ritual content and connect with the Satanic ritual community
Death, Grief, and Tony Soprano
I didn’t expect that at 3am this morning I’d be on the floor howl-crying after watching the series finale of The Sopranos, but grief’s like that sometimes.
It’s been almost a year since my dad died and for the most part I’ve found a sort of peace with it. I wrote extensively about the immediate aftermath of his death in my book The Devil’s Death: Your Satanic Companion for Grief and Dying - our estrangement, the history of abuse, and how dealing with the death of an abuser can trigger an incredibly complicated grieving process.
The physical numbness, fear, and anger have mostly dissipated since then. I’m able to think about him without anxiety. And, the guilt and sadness show up less.
The last time I cried about him was during my book release for The Devil’s Death at The Puscifer store in Jerome when I did a reading from chapter on grief - Anguish as Alchemy. I wrote it immediately in the wake of his death.
But, last night, grief hit me in unrelenting waves. It was the seven-year anniversary of The Unveiling of Baphomet in 2015 which I helped orchestrate. The event was a catalyst for our estrangement. Aside from a few fucked up text messages and voicemail harassment from him, we hadn’t seen or spoken to each other since then. The last time he texted me it was my birthday last year - he asked for money and when I refused, called me crazy.
He was a self-destructive person, buried by addiction, anger, greed, entitlement and ignorance. He was raised in the Catholic church, an altar boy of course. By the time I was born he stopped going to church, but he’d still pop by the Catholic store every so often to get prayer candles. On those trips, he’d lie to the sales person and say that he was buying them for a church so he could get a discount.
He exhibited a sort of machismo that was a cheap mask for the insecurity and fear that was rooted deep inside him. He lied, cheated, and treated women terribly. He rarely took responsibility. He never apologized. He was a scared and angry little boy in a man’s body that wanted everything and gave nothing.
I inherited my love for music, movies, glamour from him, as well as many traits too private to mention.
I started watching the Sopranos this summer after a recommendation from a friend. It wasn’t a show that I thought would appeal to me, but once I started watching it, it felt familiar. The men felt like my dad and members of his family. Their looks, attitudes, pride, ethics, violence, and way of moving through the world were so similar that in some strange way it felt like watching the show was re-connecting me to them. It brought back memories I thought I’d forgotten. In a small, strange, way, it helped me understand them.
When the credits rolled for the finale, that connection was severed. Something snapped in me. An emotional storm hit as the tears flowed and I was on the floor. I cried for myself, my dad, my grandparents, all of that family that I’ve disconnected from and the ancestral trauma they carried. I felt free. I felt like I started to forgive them.
Although I’m a private person, I share this story and will continue to share my experiences to illustrate the varied and unpredictable nature of grief. I hope that as you work through your grief journeys you are able to open up to the strange, often mystical and mind-expanding experience it brings. I hope you give yourself the compassion, patience, understanding, and love you deserve.
…
You can learn more about grief in Shiva’s book The Devil’s Death: Your Satanic Companion for Grief and Dying
Devotion - A Ritual For Self-Love
Sigil for the Devotion ritual created by Alexander Corey
Devotion is the first ritual in my book, The Devil’s Tome: A Book of Modern Ritual. I began the book with a ritual focusing on self-love because, truly, that’s where my Satanic journey began. Because of my fundamentalist Christian upbringing and abusive fathers, I was conditioned throughout my childhood to hate myself, deny my needs, and to see myself as flawed and ugly. Once I removed myself from that environment, I had decades of that programming to purge. I still have the voices of my abusers echo in my head from time to time, and I still deal with body-image and self-esteem issues. My practice has helped me be able to understand where those thoughts are coming from, so that I may heal and work to move beyond them. When you have had those sort of experiences, it takes a very long time to be able to start chipping away at the painful ideas about yourself that you internalize. I created this ritual as a way to radically confront those ideas and start to do the work to heal from them.
Notes
This can be an emotionally intense and draining ritual to perform. Put aside enough time so that you can emotionally prepare and recover after the ritual. You may also want to have a trusted friend or therapist to check in with after you perform the ritual*
All of the items needed for this ritual are in my Devotion Ritual Kit. Many of the individual items as well as Devotion apparel are also available in the shop
Dove’s blood’s ink isn’t made of actual dove’s blood! It’s an ink traditionally used when working on rituals that are focused on love, desire, and intention setting. If you can’t find that ink, feel free to use any other sort of ink/writing implement
Substitute the ritual tools as you need so that it is accessible to you
Tools:
Lighter/matches
Rose quartz
Tourmaline/Obsidian
Rose petals
Devotion scrub
Tome
Lipstick
Sacred space:
A bath/shower
A resting place
Preparation: Create your sacred space by creating an altar with your Devotion candle, your tourmaline/obsidian crystal, and the lipstick. Create a separate space outside of your bathing area that feels lush, beautiful, and comfortable. Create a large circle with rose petals, rose quartz, Devotion ritual oil, your tome, dove's blood and pen, and a pillow in the middle.
Ritual: Light the candle and stand by the altar. Disrobe. Close your eyes and breathe deeply and slowly. Take seven breaths. With each breath, allow yourself to relax more and feel more at home in your body. Feel your breath moving through your body, nourishing it.
Bring to the surface any negative feelings you have about yourself - any perceived flaws, mistakes, and anything that makes you feel unworthy or unlovable. Think of anything negative other people have projected onto you. Sit with those feelings. Allow yourself to sink into any emotions you have been repressing. As you experience these negative feelings and flaws, write them on your body with lipstick. It can be a word, a sentence, or symbol - anything that represents those hurtful things that have been a barrier to feeling self-love or receiving love from others.
Once you are finished and are ready to cleanse yourself of these feelings, step into the shower. Let the warm water comfort you as you use your Devotion scrub bar to symbolically remove each element of blockage.
Repeat, “It is gone, it is done,” as you remove each word or symbol. Move deep and slow, allowing yourself to feel a weight lift after each one is gone.
Once all of the lipstick is removed, step out of the shower and dry yourself off, allowing yourself to feel renewed.
Step within your rose petal circle. Anoint yourself with the Devotion oil. As you rub the oil over your body, say an affirmation about yourself out loud - this could be a physical characteristic, personality trait, ability or talent. Absorb these affirmations.
Sit in the circle and rest.
Open up your tome. Explore your memory. Use the dove’s blood ink to write down your accomplishments and happy memories from the time you were a child until now. Once you are finished, blow out your candles and incense. Use the rose petals, rose quartz, and incense to create an altar. You can come back to this place whenever you need a boost of self-love. Continue to write in your tome as time passes and reflect on it regularly. Wear your Devotion pin as a reminder of your commitment to yourself Repeat the ritual as needed.
……….
* If you’re having a rough time and need professional support, please consider these resources:
Crisis Text Line - 24/7 text line where every texter is connected with a Crisis Counselor, a real-life human being trained to bring texters from a hot moment to a cool calm through active listening and collaborative problem solving
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255). The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.Vets can press "1" to be connected to VA specialists for resources
Trans Lifeline’s Hotline - Trans Lifeline’s Hotline is a peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers
The Trevor Project - A free, confidential service that provides live help to LGBTQ youth 24/7 via hotline, chat and text serviceWant to support the work? Check out my shop to pick up The Devil’s Tome and handmade ritual tools. You can also join my Patreon to get additional ritual content and connect with the Satanic ritual community
Want to Support the content?
If you’re interested in supporting my writing and creative content, you can purchase an item in my shop or join my Patreon
Memento Mori - A Ritual For Death + Remembrance For Satanists
As COVID continues its rampage, death and loss has become even more present reality in our lives. As non-theistic Satanists, I think we’re uniquely positioned to acknowledge and confront the topic of death. Many of us have even been captivated it - we understand the frailty of our time on earth and commit to live full lives. We see death as an inevitable and ever present aspect of life and don’t have illusions of an afterlife to comfort us. So what can we do to help us cope with the passing of loved ones?
I’m writing a book to explore death within the context of Satanism - The Devil’s Death: Your Satanic Companion to Grief And Dying. You can learn more about it + grab a limited edition copy of the book here.
Memento Mori is our Devil’s Deck card for October
Satanic Insight: Take time to reflect on those who have passed on. Who do you miss? Are there people you are relieved are gone? What lessons have they taught you? What gifts did they bestow? How can they serve as an inspiration for your journey? If you’ve avoided grieving or responding to their loss, give yourself permission now. Think of ways to honor the dearly departed. Figure out how to leave those who were harmful in the past.
Recommended Ritual:
Memento Mori: A Fall Remembrance Ritual
Ritual is known to be a powerful healer that can help us process grief. One of the most frequent questions I’ve been asked in the last year is if I have any ritual resources to help process death and loss. I created this simple ritual last year as part of my Satanic ritual book, The Devil’s Tome. I share this ritual with you now in hopes that it can help serve you and your community. Please share widely. You can find more rituals for death and grief in my new book The Devil’s Death: Your Satanic Companion to Grief And Dying. You can learn more about it + grab a limited edition copy of the book here.
Memento Mori:
A Ritual For Death and Remembrance
Tools:
Relics from loved ones passed
Flowers, fruits, and/or gourds
Photos of people you want to honor that have died
A Candle (you can grab my Memento Mori ones here)
Tome
Sacred Space: An altar
Preparation: Gather relics and photos of those you want to honor that have passed. Find candles, flowers, food, and other elements that remind you of the departed.
Ritual: At midnight, begin to build a sacred space to honor loved ones that have passed. Place photos and relics of those loved ones on an altar. Decorate the area with flowers, candles, and foods that remind you of them.
Once the altar is completed, light the candles and/or incense and contemplate your relationship with the departed. Write down beloved memories of those who have passed inside your tome.
If you can, keep the candles burning.
The next day, spend time visiting places and/or engaging in activities that remind you of the departed.
Before the day ends, spend time volunteering or commit and act of kindness in honor of your loved ones who have passed.
For seven days, visit the altar and record more memories of the departed in your tome.
……….
Want to support the work? Check out my shop to pick up The Devil’s Tome and handmade ritual tools. You can also join my Patreon to get additional ritual content and connect with the Satanic ritual community
Memento Mori - A Ritual For Death and Remembrance
As COVID continues its rampage, death and loss has become even more present reality in our lives. As non-theistic Satanists, I think we’re uniquely positioned to acknowledge and confront the topic of death. Many of us have even been captivated it - we understand the frailty of our time on earth and commit to live full lives. We see death as an inevitable and ever present aspect of life and don’t have illusions of an afterlife to comfort us. So what can we do to help us cope with the passing of loved ones?
Ritual is known to be a powerful healer that can help us process grief. One of the most frequent questions I’ve been asked in the last year is if I have any ritual resources to help process death and loss. I created this simple ritual last year as part of my Satanic ritual book, The Devil’s Tome. I share this ritual with you now in hopes that it can help serve you and your community. Please share widely. I’ll be working on many more resources around death and grief in 2021.
Memento Mori:
A Ritual For Death and Remembrance
Tools:
Relics from loved ones passed
Flowers, fruits, and/or gourds
Photos of people you want to honor that have died
Candles (you can grab my Memento Mori candles here)
Tome
Sacred Space: An altar
Preparation: Gather relics and photos of those you want to honor that have passed. Find candles, flowers, food, and other elements that remind you of the departed.
Ritual: At midnight, begin to build a sacred space to honor loved ones that have passed. Place photos and relics of those loved ones on an altar. Decorate the area with flowers, candles, and foods that remind you of them.
Once the altar is completed, light the candles and/or incense and contemplate your relationship with the departed. Write down beloved memories of those who have passed inside your tome.
If you can, keep the candles burning.
The next day, spend time visiting places and/or engaging in activities that remind you of the departed.
Before the day ends, spend time volunteering or commit and act of kindness in honor of your loved ones who have passed.
For seven days, visit the altar and record more memories of the departed in your tome.
……….
Want to support the work? Check out my shop to pick up The Devil’s Tome and handmade ritual tools. You can also join my Patreon to get additional ritual content and connect with the Satanic ritual community